Saturday, August 20, 2005

The Onion | Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

Onion Gold:

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.


Dr. Geekos said...

I can't believe the SH**T anymore. First they are doubting evolution and looking for footsteps of human beeings which cover the footstep of a dinosaur to proove that god made them on the same day - and everyone knows there are MILLION of years between them , ok they do that down there in Texas - I'm not really surprised. But now they doubting gravity and call it intelligent falling this makes me really upset - because the would mean instead of taking all the science classes in college I should just have gone to church more.

Who will ever stop those guys teaching children such bs ?

Polly said...

Dr. G,

before you get too upset, you should know that is a satire news site. the story, along with most all other stories on the site are (really funny) jokes spoofing the regular news.

Tabetha said...

I'm not sure if the dr's "outrage" is more reflective of what excellent satirists the onion staff are, or how sad the state of religion is in America that the article could possibly have been real.

Either way... pretty funny.

I caught "The Aristocrats" this afternoon, and the Onion editors were featured pretty heavily, brainstorming their version of the joke the movie is named for. Hilarious.

Polly said...

i'm DYING to see "the Aristocrats". it's not playing here, but i've got my hopes up for the next visit to New Orleans.

i'm envious!

Tabetha said...

It's a great film. I'm a fan of watching the comic mind do it's stuff, and this is as raw as it gets.

Then, there are parts of it that are atypically poignant.

I wasn't surprised to see a few people walk out, but I'm not sure what they thought they were going to see.

Definately check it out. I don't generally laugh out loud at stuff when I'm by myself at a movie theatre, but I was howling.

Dr. Geekos said...

Oh - it is satire - but I wasn't sure.
I really saw that on German TV a so called "Scientist" running around with two dozens of "christians" down there somewhere in Texas looking for footprints of "humans" which cover the footprints of dinosaurs. Or that creationist stuff they teach in school - so sometimes it is really hard to tell satire from reality - especially in those days.

Dr. Wagner said...

I think part of people's reaction is that they have never heard of the joke before. I think it is more well-known among people who actively follow stand-up and performers. My wife and mother-in-law had both heard of the movie, but had never heard a version of the joke. I tried my best to give the idea of it without having to tell ANY version of it to the m-i-l.

Polly said...

you can get the south park/Cartman version of it here:

oh, and somehow the folks at The Christian Critic's Movie Parables didn't like it. imagine!