The Random WC Fields Quotes Page

During prohibition he was asked, why if he didn't have a drinking problem, did he buy 300 cases of gin before it started, he replied "I didn't think prohibition would last that long."

Anyone who hates small dogs and children can't be all bad.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(When asked why he never drank water) "Fish **** in it."

(When "caught" reading a Bible) "Just looking for loopholes."

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation

(For La Federala) My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.