Sunday, September 25, 2005

Insider Trading - Bill Frist Cliff's Notes Version

  • If you're Bill Frist (GOP Senate Leader and Presidential hopful), people are likely gonna watch what you are doing.
  • If you're a billionaire (BiiiLLLL), don't break the law to save a few million. It'll be ok if you lose a few on investments like normal people. (i promise).
  • If you want to call your investments a "Blind Trust" that means you can't OK the sales or get updates on the status of the assets.
  • If you get such information early before the general public, and then sell off your stock to avoid losses...that's called insider trading.
  • Ask Martha Stewart about it.
  • Oh, and DON'T ask George W. Bush about it. His daddy was President at the time and the guy in charge of 'investigating' for the SEC was a family friend. Your daddy ain't President.
  • Finally, in the weeks before you sell of the stock on the inside tip, don't get 2 dozen status reports on the stocks prior to the sell off and pretend you didn't know anything (or that the trust of yours is, in fact, blind).
OH, and finally...Senator Bill...I don't usually take Criminal Cases, but i can refer you to somebody. you might need an attorney...I hope.
--you crooked ass.

4 comments:

The Blog said...

All, I can say is LOL.

Swirly in DC said...

god, i love yhou~

Tabetha said...

I love how Backus is essentially implying that Johnny America is too dumb to undertand stock transactions and blind trusts, and so they won't care.

Um.

Has he seen how many Americans hold stocks in their portfolios these days? I think the surge in online trading kind of disproves his point.

And, oh, I don't have to understand HOW Enron was propped up to realize that it was shifty as hell - I think the same applies for ol' Fristy's blind trust.

The Hud said...

So, what do you think of Frist claiming that he didn't do anything wrong?