My Friend Mr. Young has a Great Story

I have kept this conversation for a few years now because i thought it was so funny. many longtime readers actually know this fellow. anyway, without further delay, let me present Mr. Young one of my favorite stories:

Young: did I tell you about that redneck trying to pick a fight with me?
Polly: wha!?!
Young: lol... this is hilarious
Young: I need to write a story about it
Polly: maybe a comic!
Young: I went to see Spy Game and this big ass redneck and three girls were talking really loud forever...
Young: so I finally had my fill of it and turned around and yelled "BE QUIET!" really loud...
Young: they were stunned, then started laughing. One girl said, "Who said that??" and I stood up and raised my hand and said, "I did!" ...
Young: then the guy said, "Gonna be hard for you to talk without a mouth, boy!"... whatever that means...
Polly: uh. ok
Young: so after the movie, the lights came on, and we got up to leave... then I felt something behind me on my back...
Young: and this guy is HUGE... and he's shoving his chest into my back, all bowed up and acting like a badass...
Polly: haw. what a dork
Young: I said, "How's it goin'?" and he said the same thing... I said, "Can I help you?" He said, "You just keep on walkin', bitch. We gonna take this outside."...
Young: And the theater was watching this, because he was making a scene... So I kept walking... I said, "Whatever you got to say, say it now. I paid money to hear the movie, not a bunch of loudmouths..." He said, "We gonna do a lot more than talk, bitch."...
Young: so we walk outside (D. H. has my back)... I turned around and said, "Now what do you have to say." He said, "Naw, we gonna go talk over here!" but I refused. Then the three girls walked up, and he said, "Y'all get on back to the truck!"...
Young: they said, "Naw, we wanna watch you kick his ass!" I said, "What's up, dude?"
Young: so then he got real close and said... "Look... look, my girlfriend's a bitch, okay. She's a BITCH! I hate her! I promise you... man, I swear I'm gonna break up with her, okay? I swear!" I was like, "What??" I started laughing...
Polly: haw haw haw haw haw haw haw
Young: he said, "My dignity is intact here, man... put yourself in my shoes!" I said, "What, you wanna hit me in the stomach or something to make it look real?" He said, "Naw, man... look, I got a little carried away back there, okay? I said some stuff I
shouldn't have."...
Young: then the funniest part... "I'm just prayin' to God they can't read lips, man." I just laughed and said, "You have a good night," and walked off.