Christmas Tidings

Tonite i went to only my 2nd Midnite Mass. I'm not Catholic so I've not had a reason to do these in the past. listening to the service, i decided that there is perhaps no better delivery of bible scripture than Linus of the Peanuts gang a la the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. his tone and delivery are a comfort to me.

I have a hard time in church. As a person who does think about spirituality a lot, but does not often go to church...well...when i do go, i have a hard time. It really just sends my mind reeling. I think it's the old philosophy major in me. i think over the dogma and the scripture. i think about the versions of the text that aren't the 'king james' version and what differences therein lie, as well as what effect they may have on my belief system. I think about the Holy Spirit a great deal and how little i understand about it. as a matter of fact, i've never had someone explain to me that part of the trinity in a way that remotely made sense (give it a shot in the comments section if you like).

I also think about my own progress. my shortcomings and successes. i think a lot about what i'm doing at that moment in time, in my life. i scrutenize all these things so intently that....well....to be honest with you, it is difficult to remotely pay attention to the preacher. if the preacher is not charismatic (not meant in the theological sense) and the sermon isn't touching on a hot topic for me....well...he gets ignored and my mind just goes off on its own. off to the races. I actually often get deeply upset over things: myself, other people, what i realize is being done, even theological issues...and i can tell its really getting to me, particularly in parts of the sermon that really aren't that emotional.

Anyway, like i said, church is really hard on me. really hard. none-the-less, i recommend you watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special and listen to Linus deliver his lines. next think about people that are alone right now and wish they weren't. finally, do something about that.

Merry Christmas.