My Anti-Drug Is Alcohol -- The Onion - America's Finest News Source

If you're a kid growing up these days, sooner or later, someone's going to offer you drugs. 'Go ahead, try some of these,' they'll say. 'They'll make you feel great. Come on, everybody's doing it. Don't you want to be cool?' People have told me all these things and plenty more, but I just tell them to buzz off. I tell them I don't need drugs to get high or be cool: I can do it with alcohol, my anti-drug.